No Nephews in My Circle of Bawses

Never let a motherfucker try to nephew you.

That’s Skizza’s advice for the day: never let a motherfucker try to nephew you.

Look, someone is always gonna try and nephew you.  Someone is going to sit you down and put their hand on your shoulder and explain why what you’re doing is wrong and why you need to do what they think you should do and appeal to their age as a measure of expertise and credibility. 

Be aware: just because someone older than you is trying to give you advice doesn’t mean they’re trying to nephew you. 

There’s a huge difference, and taking advice from intelligent people who have experienced things in their life is one of the smartest things you can do.  Good advice is priceless and there’s no such thing as a bad reason to learn.  If you have experts in your orbit then take advantage of those motherfuckers.  Let a motherfucker mentor you.

But never let a motherfucker try to nephew  you.

It’ll become like a sixth sense to tell the difference.   The kind of dudes you want to take advice from aren’t going to try to nephew you to begin with.  You’ll pick up on the subtle cues.  The people you want advice from are people who have qualities you value and want to emulate.  The big secret is that the people who are confident and secure are also the people who are most willing to treat you as an equal from the jump anyway.  Someone who is internally secure in their own bawseness never feels the need to look down on or degrade another person.   These are the people you want to emulate. 

If you genuinely feel like someone is trying to downplay you or marginalize you or condescend to you, then chances are that motherfucker is trying to nephew you.   Whatever advice he’s giving you is about him, not you.


See, a secure bawse-ass motherfucker doesn’t have to tell you that he has 20 years on you, and he also  doesn’t have to try and minimize your value.  Keep your ears perked for nicknames like “kid”, “sport”, “champ” – the only reason a motherfucker is going to try and shrink you down is because deep-down inside he’s worried that he can’t measure up to your true height.

I’ve got this office job where I’m often put in charge of managing and corralling salesmen sometimes as much as 25 years older than I am.  You can probably imagine that some of them *do not* like this.  At all.  But you know who has never had a problem with it?  The bawse-ass motherfuckers.  We have dudes who are fifty or sixty years old who come in and put the game in a fucking bodybag for us every day.   I’m talking Glengary Glen Ross motherfuckers here.  Who perform their job to the highest levels, who are personable, fun to be around, and hyper-secure in their own bawse sauce.  None of them has ever felt the need  to tell me how much older they are than me, or how many sales they had made before I was in kindergarten, because they don’t need to.   These are the dudes you want to take advice from. 

The dude who is going to try to nephew you is not cut from the same cloth as these men.

The dude who is going to try to nephew you is life’s C-student.  An asshole who popped out of his mother in ’71 instead of ’85 is still, at the end of the day, just a fucking asshole.  He has no bawse sauce to spread, all he wants to do is try and taint yours with his bullshit. 

If someone says what they would do about a situation before they ask you what you want to get out of the situation, they’re probably trying to nephew you.  You shouldn’t do what they would do about it, because they’re them, and them is a motherfuckin’ sucker. 

Don’t let these motherfuckers try to nephew you.

All due respect to Sway, but Sway tried to nephew Kanye in that interview.  I was telepathically high-fiving that boy Yeezy when he blew up on him on some “fucking FINALLY” type of shit.  I think the rest of us young bawses need to make a conscious effort to follow Yeezy’s example and take these uncle-ass motherfuckers to task when they try and pull that shit.  I’m not saying you have to go scorched-earth, but do not tolerate their patronizing half-advice.  They don’t want the best for you.  They want to use you to feel better about themselves.     

The dude who’s gonna try to nephew you is the dude who’s gonna tell you not to go buy that microphone or that Nikon or that stock car or that longboard or that paint easel or that food truck.  The dude who’s gonna try to nephew you doesn’t want you sharpening your tools or improving yourself or drawing attention.  The dude who’s gonna try to nephew you wants you to punch clocks until your bawse sauce curdles and spoils.  The dude who’s gonna try to nephew you wants you to die an Assistant fucking Manager.  Fuck that guy.

Abraham Lincoln intentionally selected strong men who often disagreed with him and would defend their positions bitterly to be his closest advisors and cabinet-members.  He spoke on the idea of having a “team of rivals” and the strength of character he derived from that.  I don’t think day-to-day life has to be as adversarial as war-time politics, but I firmly believe in surrounding myself with a circle of bawses.   If you can’t picture the five or six people closest to you seated at a polished-oak table eating lobster and drinking champagne with linen bibs on with you, then you are riding with the wrong motherfuckers right now.  You might be riding with the type of dudes who want to put you at the kiddie table because they’re afraid if they give you a chair you’ll scoop the food from off their plate.  Even worse; you could be all alone at that round table because you don’t trust anyone enough to share your food with them.  But if your bawse sauce is spicy enough then you know there’s more than enough food to go around.

But if you let people nephew you, you’re going to be sitting at that kiddie table for a very long time.       






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